Recently, I read something that pointed out we only do things because we find them somehow enjoyable.  And it said something along the lines of “Maybe we complain because it gives us an audience, or makes us feel important.”

Suddenly I realized that my complaining (at home, or to a couple friends) was in fact an impediment to Doing Something.  Because I got to feel like things were Way Harder than they actually are.  This gave me something psychologically satisfying, but it also gave me something that made me feel safe.

By putting up obstacles in front of myself, I was able to feel like there was no point in trying, which meant I could avoid doing the things that I was afraid of.

And – Bonus – I also got to feel like I was really doing something difficult and praiseworthy and get encouragement and validation from others.

This of course is not what I needed.  I needed to buckle down and push through, instead of getting a quick boost from others that fades back into inaction.

Takeaway

Complaining is a lot like telling people what you’re going to do.  It’s a way of satisfying a psychological itch without actually accomplishing anything.  You get the social validation without actually accomplishing anything.

Leave the itch unsatisfied.  Keep yourself hungry for action.